so i bought a new beer tonight and it’s called michelob porter. i know i know – michelob, that’s short for “budweiser” but this is actually pretty good. i like porters. i like dark beer, it’s the best

i’m a fan of amberbock, another budweisrer/michelob thing and this is even darker but not quite a stout i suppose

DELICIOUS

oh ALSO, you know the old miller light commercial “youhad a hard day at the office, now it’s miller time” well more like “you had  a hard day at the office, now it’s TROLLING YAHOO ANSWERS TIME” am i rite

the people on yahoo answers are the people that make me drink

PS: oh nice i just noticed the messed up “how drunk are you” menu, that’ sg reat guys, good job thanks

it’s a new night which means more little bottles of whiskey

the two i’ve tried so far tonight are OLD KENTUCKY TAVERN and J.W.DANT bourbon, both of which were actually stamped with a date. the date was 1956.

that means i’m drinking 53-year-old bourbon. wow

they both taste really good, but i’m beginning to think if you let any whiskey sit around for 50 years it’s gonna end up tasting good.

so this last bottle was called I.W.Harper bourbon, which apparently is more popular in japan than in america these days.

it was also pretty good, but you know, it tastes pretty much just like any other bourbon. i’m beginning to suspect that bourbon snobs are crazy. every one of the four minis i’ve drank tonight tasted just about the same (except the jack daniels i guess). they were all good and all old, and all smooth.

oh well, time to call it a night. not enough hours in the day.

there’s still like 50 bottles left to go through so we’ll have to tackle those some other time

ok so the next bottle of mini whiskey is “old forester” which i had never heard of but i guess they still make whiskey. it was also pretty smooth, not bad.

i think i’ll try one more bottle tonight but then i gotta go to bed

boooooooo

ok so now i am drinking a bottle called “antique” bourbon whiskey. the label says on it “this whiskey is 6 years old” – hahahaha not anymore it’s not!

in fact, according to this bourbon whiskey forum, “antique” was bought by seagrams in the 40s and ceased operations in the 60s. that means at the absolute least this bottle is 50 years old (make that 56 years old).

it’s pretty smooth, i guess a half a century will  mellow out a bourbon.

so we bought a nice desk chair for real cheap from craigslist today. katye went to pick it up, but the girl selling it didn’t have change for 40 bucks, SO she decided to throw in a couple boxes full of old airplane liquor bottles to sweeten the deal.

DEAL SWEETENED.

so tonight is going to be spent sampling these tiny old bottles. i think i will do a running commentary as i try each one.

my first one was a bottle of jack daniels with a green label. i know that’s some variety or other of JD but i don’t know what the difference is. it tasted pretty rough, but i didn’t go blind so i guess it’s ok.

STAY TUNED

so today was a nice day, we went to busch gardens (where they no longer give out free beer by the way, no thanks to their new owners) and then we got home and decided it was time to celebrate whiskey weekend by making some delicious frozen whiskey cocktails.

they are actually very tasty.

here’s what we did:

1. one 12 oz can of frozen juice concentrate (we used raspberry lemonade so far, but we have other flavors to try)
2. 6 oz whiskey
3. lots of ice
4. put it all in blender and wwwsssshhhzzzzzzzzzzzzz
5. drink

it’s awesommmmeeeeee

i saw a recipe for margaritas where they suggested adding 6 oz of beer to the mix, which sounded excellent but we didn’t have any beer and i didn’t want to run back out to the store. OH WELL.

I’ll be honest. I got a late start as a beer drinker. My drinking career began with vodka, and for a long time I didn’t particularly like beer, much preferring to stick with a bottle of Absolut.

It’s funny, really. The first beer I started drinking regularly was Guinness. My friends, who knew that I wasn’t too keen on beer, would ask me “how come you don’t like beer, but you drink the beeriest beer there is?” And I dunno, that’s just how it happened.

I drink beer freely now, but I’m not any sort of afficionado. Sure, these days I prefer quality imports and craft brews and hand pumped, cask-conditioned ales (PS: do you live around Boston? Go to redbones in Davis Square. they have these.); but when my dad comes over with a case of Old Milwaukee, I’ll knock back a few cold ones without any snobbery.

So Miller recently came out with a new variety, the Miller Chill. The gimmick here is added flavors of lime and salt. Lime, that’s been done before by everyone who’s ever had a corona; but the salt… that’s something I’ve never had in a beer, and you know what? I really like it.

When I do drink beer, I usually prefer dark beers, which Miller Chill certainly is not. It’s light, and not very strong… I mean, it’s Miller. But there’s something about the slight saltiness to it that I enjoy. People tend to like salty snacks with their beer anyway: chips, peanuts, pretzels, etc. Maybe adding the salt to the beer was a logical step.

If anyone knows of a “quality” beer that has the same level of salty flavor, feel free to let me know and I’ll try it out. But for now, I’ll give Miller Chill a thumbs up.

Fresh off the heels of my own personal tale of disgust with gin and Bloody Marys comes this story: the ten worst drinks ever.

While the article is clearly tongue-in-cheek, it did remind me of one more drink that is completely real and also absolutely revolting.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Clamato Cocktail. You may already be aware that I’m no big fan of Bloody Marys. Well, rest assured that adding clam juice will not make it any more appetizing.

That’s right, vodka, tomato juice, and clam juice: a match made in heaven.

DIGUSTING VOMIT HEAVEN.

this is a repost of an article written in 2006

Welcome gentle reader to the first next installment of this author’s libations reviews.

We begin the series with a drink that has its roots in the anti-Bolshevik factions of the Russian Civil War of 1918-1922, the classic White Russian.

But, in a twist that’s sure to make many a vegan heart skip a beat, we will be making this evening’s coctail with Silk brand vanilla soy milk instead of the usual cow-based alternative.

It’s true, soy milk has become a regular fixture in this author’s refrigerator. Aside from being environmentally friendly, it has a much longer shelf life, and the vanilla flavoring is absolutely delightful.

A typical White Russian would also use Kahlua brand coffee liquor, but instead we shall substitute Copa D’oro, which was bought from locals en Méxique during a recent excursion to the remote island of Cozumel.

Hello, can you say “duty free”??

The traditional mixture of this traditional tincture calls for 1 part vodka, 1 part Liqueur de Café, and two parts milk, on the rocks, and that is how they were made for this review.

The first sample was quite delicious. The vanilla flavoring of the Silk brand soy milk added a very sweet touch to the drink, and it is this author’s firm opinion that this is what God meant when he told Moses the Isrealites would be led to “a land flowing with milk and honey”.

The second drink held as much mystique and charm as the first. The flavors danced upon the tongue as if Shiva himself was dancing madly to prepare for the destruction of the world. On the tongue.

The third drink was also pretty good.

The fourth drink was real good. the soy milk is yummy.
i was thiking about how i went to mexico and i boutht this kahlua stuff at the duty free shop, that shit was like 10 bucks! carnival cruises are really fun but there are A LOT of hillbillies on board.
a lot.

i know i’m nt writing as though i’m really drunk but i’ve had like7 of these so far now. you should be really mpressed that i can tupe so well, fuckers.

this is some really good shit.