as you can see, i’m in the process of repopulating drunkjournal with the old old old archives from 2002-2005.

It was originally based on a homegrown blog platform, so there’s no easy way to import it into wordpress except to cut and paste each entry.

anyway, while pulling the old content from the database backup, i stumbled upon this, which was posted by some teetotaling drunkjournal hater way back in the day:

Play soccer. Don’t drink. Sublime is cool, but Brad died in ‘96 from an alcohol OD. I guess he really found his 40 oz. to freedom *sarcasim*

let’s see who can be the best speller on the site. So far I’m feeling pretty good about winning :)

yo listen up all you mother fuciing bitches that read this site cause i know yours out whtere. Listen up whores. i have been dirnking alot lately. aminyl fro your viewing pleasure./ but you know what? you fucking fuckfacegfagdifkc eaters nmever post shit. and its pissing me off. WHAT THE EHLL IS YOUR DEAL ANYTWAY? don’t even tell me you’re too good for this site. cause lemme tell you, yiou’re NOT. shit heads. so anyway,. FUCKING USE THIS SITE, I DON’T WANT TIT TP SHIT DOWN, ASSFUCKS. so anyway. i was driniking a dn watching dave chappell. that is one funny ass motherfuckoing crayz funny fuckc. he’s just funny dude, seriously, watche his shit and drin, it;llm be awsesome. meanwhoiel. i’m graeat and super rad and die i hate you bitches

PS

APIOEHJOIFTHSOIRHOHSDOSDHFLSDFBALLLLLLLLSz

wo sos sukm the last theersptn foc uckings hti chagne this cmaneuuos im like ahwat the fuck does analised mena i dont egven remmbere hwy i rewrote that anywa so likes ahot fuckou foij ilike ob eoijts tbee fun ok oits like in that dark iadn alim liake tsaring at my fingers going typinging at the shit and im thinkint athat i mustbe stg egneisus nbut im not butua imaybe4 i am but im not anwyay how are you imve bees en sitting here at the efire so long

whudddp homeses. so yeah, i’ve been drinking adnd what? thats what i thogutth you brokess ass nigggas tryings tot represente and shits. I FUCKING DOMINATED SHIT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THSUT HAPPENS!??! anywa. so i won at darts at ehe e bar. making me pretty muchcss dart champion the opf the world ever. also, theys siuper bowl is sotmormorwo. eagles win the super bowlw because new englasd has legalized fag marriage. hmoemos. gog eta some ffags cokcs, fags/ anyway, kusts notficed something. my own drunsk quaote is tatt the top of this pages. impressive, i;ds sure sdsay/ i’ll atetemp copy and opasting for youtrsde viewing pleasures.

“Mikey “MULLET MANIA!!” – 07-26-03 1:15AM
ui hope i’m stlldriml wjem o doe”

i’m sstill not sure thwta that says. i ruel.. fuck all ya’lls that don’t recogniziee. i hope you know i keep it ganfstera, and aby gansta i mean kil your fucking bitchass. BITCH

and i’m out, homogfayfags

aqnwya so its been a fucking whioe like that i have even known that this shita bout has been around lir rosm e cause like some fags hasnt told me anyting about it. naywa like yeahh like i was on rs for awhile and liesk i think that everyone hre on his like on rs too but like now im not because i was like fuck this anhsit.

anyuway i like stopepd rinkging for a long time and i was like ok so likes i wont post to drunk anaal anaymore and i like that was like ok cause i likes yeah fine no more drunk jouranl anyway speecially after my mom googled me and shit that sucked

ok so heres i am and like i totally drunk toight and it was weird cause i liked havent been drunk in awhile oh wait like itw as thursday and i drank then but befure thtne i wasn terunk in amd long time cause i like turned sxe or something ok wait i dont even rember

remember my name on here i thikn its saranyi or sarahi hi aoso like i figure i can be like like make it like xxxsaraxx or somes hit but tahts so fucking cliche and i fucking hate cliche shit ok so im done with this for now cause i gotta sleep and eating foa do im eating food

wait wia s given a n assignemtn it was loaf much cock hole ok bye

RRARRARRR

oh man i’m really tired i think i want to go to bed.

we got THE PACKAGE today it’s the robtskull package and it was from lexdysic and it was cool, she got a book and it was on my wishlist so that’s pretty rad

PRETTY RAD FOR A WISH LIST STALKER

hahahaha no seriously thanks

my cat snores a fucking LOT

hahaha i’m fucked!! katy s cuttinf me off and making me go to bed!

you losers wich you had a girl like that
SO LONG SUCKERS

yo whuddup fag nuts? thats whayt i thoguht. so i’ve been dirnking, you know, holdin it down on the drunk tip and shit/ anyway, so its all likes eagles playing in the supsopern bowl and the patriots suck cause i hate them alswaort. they are pretty muchc dfarsfs and tom brady likes loicking balls. if you don’t like the eagles or worse, like the patreuioits,. i think i hate you. actually, come to tink of it, of you like the oats, i hope you die. in a fire. slowly. and emtls alot cause that ws what happens.

guys!!!
i’m rather tipsy!
it has been quite some time since i’ve last posted! i’ve had 3 drinks, and am a little bit drunk! my tolerance has droped drastically!
well.
i think i’ll just contradict eveyrthing mikey says by saying i lvoe you all, and that everything is peachy these days :)

byuebye!!
<3
katie katie masturbatie

So, in Mobile, girls making their debut is a huge process. In many other cities, debutantes are presented in one huge ball, or in a weekend of parties, or something. In Mobile, the process begins on the night of Thanksgiving and lasts until Mardi Gras day, and in between there are parties constantly. Several every weekend during the school year, then also one basically every lunchtime and night over Christmas break.

What this means for me is that, since I was pretty good friends with these girls in high school, I am invited to many parties that involve socializing with Mobile High Society and drinking lots of alcohol for which I did not pay.

Tonight was not extraordinary: I was at some house in the swank part of town, where the meals served were: grilled oysters, hot wings, slices of Conecuh sausage. I shit you not. Also, open bars, catered entirely by: African Americans. God bless integration!

So I think really the best part of all this is coming back and seeing shitloads of people from high school, but now with their horizons somewhat broadened by the experiences and different viewpoints introduced to them by college, while their inhibitions are simultaneously lowered by open-bar alcohol.

This post really has no narrative thrust at all, I’m just spilling shit from my buzzed mind.

I just typed lke 18 lines worth of rhetoricql quesitosn about tonight that wouldn’t be at all interesting to anybody else, which I just realized, so I deleted them. In conclusion, I hooked up with a girl from my high school who look slike Leah Remini an dwho either actually listnes to good musoc now or was just pretending because she wanted to hook up. High school people four years later are awesome, espsecially mnixed with alcohol. Fuck you Mikey, and Chris make me a fucking author you asshole. Joby fornicates with oxes

dued i donts really under stand why chrsi is so angy. i can KDIN fo understards that hes pissed because he loks liek the fasgot from q and anot you with ethe marekers on his face but really.

chris qwuit being such a faggot.

samadn todkl me that tyou emasculates him at etht hallowen partyy when you choekdd him out, and really tha it just sad because hes not especially masculeins to being with.

tonight iwent to teh casino,. and the pit boss was this HOT ASS ALITTLE MEXICO GIRL. she was eyeing me but you know. anyway, you knwot he kind of tits thagt are like, big, and when they wear a bra, they just kine of lie in the bra and stick out, but not bulgy like, just like, laying in the bra, all hards anf grabby?

harda and grabby, that is all i have to asy about those tits. she wanted my dicks and i am the KINHG.

we lost money. it was suhweet.

we madee thsi beer that was sipposed to be an ipa but it tuenrsd out to be htis super alcoholic matly thing instead that got me WAY WASTED tongith.

way awastred continuesd:!

pray for that pits boss girls and boys for i am going to anal hre soon enoguh.

LIES ALL LEIS also none of the girsl ons rs give up the ass excetp for the rad one…or two.