hey, did you guys hear the one about how you can get hammered, and go 98 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, and get caught pissing outside your car, but it’s ok as long as you’re a cop?

yeah that’s a good one.

it’s a good thing they didn’t go the wrong way on the expressway, killing a mother and seriously injuring her daughter, or maybe the sherrif would have had some stern words for them.

they say drunks won’t get help until they hit rock bottom. so i was like “how will i know that i hit rock bottom??”

a few years ago, i was pretty close maybe, but i wasn’t quite sure. all i knew was that even if i said “you know, i don’t feel like drinking tonight” i’d suddenly notice that i was in the liquor store buying a bottle of whiskey, then i’d suddenly notice that i was at home drinking it, and i’d be like “hmmm, i could have sworn that i explicitly told myself not to buy/drink this bottle of whiskey, but here i am, and hmmmmmmm”

right, pretty close to rock bottom probably, when your body goes out and buys whiskey even though your brain told it not to.

so my sister had given me this little bottle of gekkeikan sake, it was a cute little bottle. kind of egg-shaped with a cap that could be used as a sake-shot glass. and i kept it around because it was aesthetically pleasing, so i was like “OK i will never drink this bottle of sake. no matter what. even if i am broke, and there is no alcohol in the house, and there is nothing to drink except this bottle of sake, i WILL NEVER DRINK IT.”

because i knew that if i actually drank that bottle of sake, that was it. that was rock bottom.

i still have that bottle of sake, it’s on the end table in the living room. so i guess i never hit rock bottom.

by the way, i haven’t actually been out drinking in a few months, but then i went out the other night and had exactly three drinks and it was like BLAMMO!!

not drinking really kills your tolerance. it’s hard being a sober drunk.